My Testimony...

I was not raised up going to church regular and
Sunday School was fun,but I really didn't remember much about God or Jesus.We
were not rich but that didn't matter we were happy even though we didn't know
Jesus personally.Thank God he knew us and wanted us to be his forever,I was a
party hound my Brother an I started drinking early in life. For Daddy was a big
drinker and we would sneek and drink as time went on I learned to be a good
drinker also,and I use to love my Vodka full of ice and a light diet soda.I went
clubbing from Thursday til Sunday and on Sunday's we would dress up really
pretty.Those old days now pass but not forgotten.I thought about God some not
often,I didn't even know if God was real but I soon found out! It was 1972 when
I got born again and nobody told me anything about the carnal mind and
nature.All I remember was once you get born again you would not be the same and
everything changes,you want do the things you use to. Imagine my complete
surprise when 2 weeks later after the high from just being born again wore
off.The same old desires came rushing back! And I was like what is going on I
know I believe and that I'm born again,so what is going on here! Stunned and
shocked I cried out to God for answers.but I didn't fully understand the Holy
Spirit so I still didn't recognize Jesus voice,I cried and cried then I gave
into the flesh and went back to the same old ways I was used to. And that can
happen to you, just want you to know that the old desires do not die but Jesus
will give you victory over them in time, it's important to remember God does
things a "whole lot different that what we would". So on & on with the
drinking and running around having a good time,but even though I was not walking
in obedience God's love for me "Never Changed". Oh how I thank God for his Grace
and Mercy that covers and protects us.This walking out of fellowship with God
went on until 1975,oh I went to church and read my Bible but the closeness
wasn't there. I was asked by my Niece & Best Friend to go to a movie and The
Exocist was playing another shocker for real! I was sitting there screaming
inside I was so scared,they were just laughing and having a ball. I was doing
all I could just to sit there. After the movie was over outside they were
passing out tracts,oh wow was I in for a ride now,the tract I read as soon as I
got home.I didn't know anything about demons and that tract talked about demons
being real,and what they could do-what,what I thought. My life took a turn that
I thought I'd never get over,a few weeks after the movie I could not sleep the
fear stayed with me and thoughts from the movie became so real. I mean it really
felt as if my bed was shaking,what I didn't know then was that satan was trying
hard to take my mind completely!

continued.....

I learned that a lot later,but as I said
God did not forget me and I am grateful,so then the fear had a tight grip on me
I got so scared that I cried all of the time. Thank God my children were young
then and don't remember the way I was,for I struggled just to get them off to
school then cried and tried to pray.My mind was a terrible mess, when I thought
of God satan made him seem evil it was a rough time for me. Then one day out of
the blue it felt as if someone put a black sack over my head thoughts all
jumbled up!!!! Wooooo I was scared to even leave the house, I wonder if Mama
& Daddy knew I was going through something like this. This went on for what
seemed like years even though it was about 3 months I even thought of suicide
but didn't want anyone to know. It was bad I talked with a Christian friend
about this and demons,boy was that a mistake all he said made me worse,be
careful who you go to for help-very careful.He seemed as if satan was stronger
than God and even in my state of mind I had that much Bible in me to know that
was a lie! I can look back now and truly  see how "Awesome God is" But it took
years for God to get me here in a place of peace I thought I'd never know!!!! Oh
to finish my Testimony one night I was in bed trying to sleep and I heard a
voice Say:SATAN TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER,SHE BELONGS TO ME FROM THE CROWN OF
HER HEAD TO THE SOLES OF HER FEET!!!!!! And that night I did sleep "Praise God"
Since then I've never once questioned my salvation,not once even though I did
start back to running around and partying but this time it was different.I felt
something deep inside and it didn't feel good or right any more.It was the Holy
Spirit convicting me to turn around and be what God wanted me to be. And as I
said this takes time for God to deal with his wayward children,for we were born
in sin and we love sinning,it's ugly,nasty and disgusting but it's in us until
we leave this world.But we want stay the same for we truly are new creatures in
Christ. God knew we needed a "Great Saviour" that's why he sent his Son Jesus
Christ,and we are complete  in Christ and he does forgive us over & over.
And as you grow you will come to know Jesus and learn who you are in Christ,it's
a never ending process . Jesus is very patient and understanding and oh how he
loves and adores us forever,even those that have not been born again God's love
for you is the same. I hope that here you'll find much help to steer you in the
way,a "Relationship" with God through Jesus Christ.
Love you much
Pat
There is nothing better than being born again and I'm not lying,it's not
easy at times but it's worth all I've been through or will go through,for
"Heaven is my Home" and for those that's born again this is as bad as it gets.
"Hallelujah" from here THE BEST IS YET TO COME.I'm growing more and more and
changes are still taking place in my life.

Love in Christ Pat